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Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Teaching Gods now available for free!

Hello All,
I've been bogged down by a glut of recording.  I am drowning in audio.  There's so much, it just needs ordering.  In the meantime, here's a re-edited version of the award-winning Teaching Gods, released for download a few years ago and now released for free to all you wonderful people.
Enjoy.  There's more coming soon.


My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Friday, 7 April 2017

The Time Machine - Photos from Beyond Time

I've been stupidly busy, so have neglected you. I've been recording lots of audio (and failed to edit it) and been making this show happen.  Here are some unedited photos from the dress rehearsal of The Time Machine - still on for another two shows. There's also a trailer video at the bottom.  Enjoy.


From left to right - Maxine Derrick, Matt Byham, Mark Scanlon,
Kevin Roychowdhury, Tom Eddington & Richard Fawcett










Thursday, 16 February 2017

It's Coming... One Day

I've been wrestling with the audio recording of Cuckold's Fair for a couple of weeks now.  I've re-jigged the studio, reprinted the script, spent hours recording and a fair amount of time on a first edit - and this evening it hit me.
It doesn't work.
Or, more specifically, it doesn't work for a solo voice.
The show is fairly dark, the tone fairly wry, and when it was first performed by a company of seven with movement and multiple voices, it worked.
But when there is only one voice, it doesn't work.
I have failed.  (Hangs head in shame and mutters...)
So, once again, the audio version of the show will have to be shelved, this time put to one side till I have the resources to hire six or seven other people.
And this is why I shouldn't announce future recordings except when they're done.
But there will be new audio - when the next Live from the Get In! broadcasts in a couple of weeks and then there will be two full length audio things to follow in March.  March will be big.
Promise x

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  And the live stream can be heard on the night here -
Two shows lined up Saturday 4th March and Saturday 6th May at 7.30pm
Tickets £6 - www.quaysudbury.com

And you can catch up with the last two episodes by listening here.


My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Wednesday, 15 February 2017

The Time Machine - sets and ideas

The Time Machine is coming up in about seven weeks.  Or, if you ascribe to the block theory of the universe, it's happening now, has happened, has always happened.  I'm currently running with the view that if the show goes up in April then I'll start rehearsals in September and write it next year.  This joke has always existed.
At the moment we're still in pre-production, the script changes every day, new sounds and new ideas are being tested.  The other evening the marvellous Harold Spengler, who isn't in the show but was available to lend a hand, pointed out something that could have destroyed the whole evening.
To quote: "How could you not notice this?"
Basically, and I don't want to go into too much detail, Herbert Wells wrote something in the original book that sounds really silly when said out loud.  Once you notice how silly it is, the show would be ruined.  It is the kind of double entendre that I normally leap on.  Hence the italics on you.
Science fiction is heaped with silly words, and there's only so much I or the cast can do to change it, but we are going to massage the problem and hope it goes away.  See, a semi entendre there.
This week I promised my cast the draft script, but the cast has just increased in size, so they're going to have to wait until tomorrow.  This is sort of annoying - far everyone else rather than me - but more people in a cast is the kind of problem I can live with.  It means I can now do some really clever bits of action and make the whole thing move more fluidly.  Huzzah!
More rehearsal shots and maybe some video will be coming soon - but for the moment above there are some of the ideas for the set.  Tomorrow I'm meeting to discuss what it'll actually look like - so more on that soon!

And you'll find out more about the show if you watch it - by booking your tickets now.

Quay Productions Presents...
The Time Machine
By H.G. Wells
Adapted and Directed by Robert Crighton

Far in the future, the human race has become something different – a peaceful species, who live in simple harmony with the planet.  But beneath the surface there is a terrifying secret – one that is uncovered by a traveller from the distant past.  Before there was Doctor Who, there was the Time Machine – this is a brand new adaptation of the first true science fiction story, where the past and the future meet with dramatic results. 
Performing: 6th, 7th & 8th April at 7.30pm at The Quay Theatre
Tickets: 01787 374745 or via their website.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Tuesday, 7 February 2017

The Time Machine - from the rehearsal room

I don't know if you've seen The Man Who Fell To Earth, but there's a scene (actually more a recurring image) where the alien is sitting watching multiple television screens, absorbing multiple programmes in a wall of jarring dissonance.  I'm sort of living this scene at the moment as I create a stage version of The Time Machine by H.G. Wells.
Much of the process of adaptation is fairly straightforward - take the text and cut out what isn't stageable (a lot of description) or interesting (a lot more description), turn text into dialogue and create scenes around the incidents of the book.  This leaves you with a bare bones text to start shaping into a piece of exciting, interesting, living theatre.  And that's where it gets more complicated.
The Time Machine is a story set in the distant future where no one speaks English - or any known modern language.  This creates a problem in writing a drama - a story told via dialogue and plot.  It could be done, but it would involve moving the story away from the original source material in ways that would feel forced.
The beginning of an idea...
I started thinking about how the story could be told, started reading around the story, reading about how time actually works, and current theories about time travel.  I started thinking about how the show will look, how the show will sound, who will be in it, how many people will be in it...
Once you get to that point you stop writing a script, you start drawing it, you start collecting music and sound ideas, you start sketching out movements and set designs - The Time Machine is not being written in a straightforward, text first way.  It can't, the main characters barely talk.
Then I started to see who would be in the production, started writing material around the cast I have (and I have some wonderful people in the cast - more soon) and started to do little tests of material.
On Sunday I went to the theatre and started to lay out tables and chairs, to create a possible layout for the show.  I got together with a member of the cast (Kevin Roychowdhury) and asked him to move around the space, so that I could have images with me at home of how the space works.
I then asked him to stand on a table for ages and test out a short speech that he wasn't going to say.  I didn't know before we started that I was going to do this but, after a quick verbal risk assessment, up he went.  I took a few shots of that as well.  You can see the idea, the basic shape of the image, looks quite cool - though it won't be Kevin on the table and it'll be costumed etc. But it's an idea.  An idea that I've just added to the script.
We then played around with two scenes in the play that have been scripted pretty much from the very beginning - running them with music and working out how long those scenes run.  Kevin, again, stood in for another role, which I filmed so as to watch later and plan changes.  Broadly I've discovered I need to shorten a couple of sequences.  The show is now better.
I was in London the other week, going to the theatre, walking round a few galleries, generally soaking up ideas and images.  Stealing is a necessary part of any artistic endeavour and London is full of ideas to steal.  I spent as much time sitting in a corner somewhere drinking coffee and scribbling in my notebook as I did looking at anything around me.  Mixing ideas, field trips and exploratory rehearsal has given me a pretty good idea of how the set will look.  I know where I'm putting the cast, I know, broadly what they're saying and how they're saying it.
Each week I'm doing more experiments with space, with the text, with images and sound - and each week I'll post some of it online.  For you.  And though I can't be certain precisely how the show will look and sound at this point, I do know one thing.  With two months to go before curtain up, I know The Time Machine is going to be pretty fucking cool.
But I would say that.
Find out for yourself by booking your tickets now.

Quay Productions Presents...
The Time Machine
By H.G. Wells
Adapted and Directed by Robert Crighton

Far in the future, the human race has become something different – a peaceful species, who live in simple harmony with the planet.  But beneath the surface there is a terrifying secret – one that is uncovered by a traveller from the distant past.  Before there was Doctor Who, there was the Time Machine – this is a brand new adaptation of the first true science fiction story, where the past and the future meet with dramatic results. 
Performing: 6th, 7th & 8th April at 7.30pm at The Quay Theatre
Tickets: 01787 374745 or via their website.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Tuesday, 31 January 2017

How Rude?

I'm in the process of recording Cuckold's Fair - it's the longest audio I've done in one block since a very rushed version of The Natural History of Trolls that I recorded in 2013.  In the mundane world of practical things it means I'm rejigging my recording set up so that it's less actively uncomfortable, but in the artistic sphere it raises another issue.
Cuckold's Fair is very rude.  Deliberately.  It uses naughty words.
In a theatre this is fine, because you pay your money and you take your chances - but for something that goes out online... where filters are a little less... active... what is the right thing to do?

How rude do I make the online version?

I will almost certainly create a paywall version that will be as rude as I like - and let's be fair, it's only actively obscene once - but how do I deal with the text?  Do I rewrite?  Do I bleep/fadeout/add birdsong?  That might be even weirder.
What do you think internet?

In the meantime, here's the latest audio - a short little story from 2011.  There maybe a short out next week to bridge the gap before the epic Cuckold week, but I won't promise that.

Countdown to the Other Side - available on YouTube or on this player.


Cuckold's Fair will be released daily from 13th to 18th February online, earlier for my patrons.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Wednesday, 25 January 2017

The Valentine Day Special

From 2010
Valentine's Day - a time to remind couples around the world that their partners might be cheating on them.  That's correct isn't it?
In 2010 I staged Cuckold's Fair on the London Fringe and it was one of my favourite shows.  I've often meant to revive it (you never know) and it's been on the list of shows to record for online release for years.  Now, at last, after several false starts, it's going to happen.  Here's the schedule.

If you're a patron you will receive the full omnibus edition the first week of February, because I couldn't do this work without you.
If you're not... well, you will get it the following week in daily installments - as the story is told over six days, I'll release it one day at a time over Valentine's week.  Which is seven years to the week since the show was first performed.
At this stage, it won't be a full cast recording.  One day, if revived, I might do a new full cast audio version.  But that's for the future.

Here's a brief excerpt of the piece recorded, very roughly, a lifetime ago...



And finally: if you're a patron you'll already have the patron only link to Countdown to the Other Side - enjoy - the rest of the world will get it next week.  It's rather fun, especially if you have a really good working knowledge of the history of Countdown presenters.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Monday, 23 January 2017

Live from the Get In - March

It's only a month and a bit before the next Live from the Get In! and the tickets are on sale.  It's going to be a bit different to the last two shows in that there will be two halves, and the first half will be a little shorter than before.  So, we're still aiming for an hour of comedy - and then some - just it'll be spread out over two halves.  The first half will be a show much like the previous two, a tumbling arrangement of comedy material with myself and the core group, and we're aiming for a run time of forty-five minutes which will be live streamed.  The second half will be more a mix of curated material from other performers, and a comic monologue from me.  This will be recorded but not streamed and released at a later date, first to my patrons who help make all this happen, and then to the world.
Why the change in format?  Well, I've found in the last two shows, the shorter sketches and some of the monologues didn't fit into the overall pattern of the show very well.  Whilst all the material worked, it didn't always want to stand next to each other.  Also, when edited in post production, the shows were drifting to 45 minutes naturally, the hour format being just a little too long and some padding was creeping in.  I'd rather record a tight show than edit one down - you get more and better laughs.  It also means the second half can be for material that wouldn't fit anywhere, encouraging more randomness and new voices to get involved.
And if you happen to be a new voice - then get in touch - I'm on twitter @RobertCrighton

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  And the live stream can be heard on the night here -
Two shows lined up Saturday 4th March and Saturday 6th May at 7.30pm
Tickets £6 - www.quaysudbury.com

And you can catch up with the last two episodes by listening here.


My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

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Friday, 20 January 2017

Problem Tree is Out Now!

And finally, Problem Tree is released to everyone. Special thanks to all my patrons for making this audio happen.

Problem Tree
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.

Watch on YouTube here
Or listen now on this player.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Thursday, 19 January 2017

Additional New Old Audio - Countdown

I posted a relatively extensive list of future audio posts, but I've missed some possibles out as my schedule expands or contracts - so here's an unplanned audio for next week.  I haven't performed it in ages and had, largely, forgotten about it - so I'm going to record a final version tomorrow for release to my patrons next week.  It will go on general release eventually.

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

Release for Patrons - 25th January
General Release TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Wednesday, 18 January 2017

You Can't Trust Trees

Testing set up for Problem Tree (2013)
I've written about Problem Tree before, I'm sure.  It's been in the repertoire since 2009 when I wrote the first version for a random storytelling event.  It's a story within a story, a format that I'm very fond of, where the storyteller and the story they tell feed off each other.

The most satisfying version of the story (so far) was a one-to-one version I did in 2013.  I built a little room within a room, a little newspaper cave (the early test design you can see half built in the pictures), and connected the audient with headphones, so that, whilst we were but a couple of feet away from each other, the story was related via a microphone, with additional sound effects.
Let me tell you a story...

I really loved the contradiction of it - that we were so close and yet also quite far removed from each other - separated and intimately joined together by technology.  The audients really enjoyed the story and I think it also brought out the best in it.  Before 2013 the story was told in a conversational but quite an open way, this was more intimate and warm.

In recording it for audio I tried to make it intimate, as if I'm talking only to you, as though it's a secret that I'm only telling one person.
And if you're one of my patrons you can hear it now!  My patrons help make all my work possible, so they get first dibs in new audio work as it comes out.  If you want to help me make new stuff then join up below.  And if you want to find out some of the other audios currently planned, go to this blog post.

Problem Tree
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 
First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Release Date: Wednesday 18th January for my patrons 

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

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Tuesday, 17 January 2017

A Magical World, All In One Place

I'm currently editing Problem Tree for release to my patrons tomorrow, and have started on the next adventure. The not quite full list of new audio coming out this year is below - there is only a rough schedule at present, but I'm aiming to put out something new each week or so.  If you like my work, then consider becoming a patron - it makes a huge difference to the kind of work I can create.

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 
First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

It helps if you have a good working knowledge of the history of the presenters of Countdown and it's transmission schedule from the late 90's onwards.

Release for Patrons - 25th January
General Release - 1st February

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: April

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: TBA

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  And the live stream can be heard on the night here -
The Saturday 4th March show is currently in the edit.

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: TBA

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: Sonia Lindsey-Scripps and Peter Drew
Additional Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

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Monday, 16 January 2017

First Day Investigating

Today we've started to record Investigate Me? a new audio drama coming... when it's ready.  It's only loosely got a script - at the moment - and is being recorded largely on location.  Today was the first chance for our protagonist (as played by Sonia Lindsey-Scripps) and the antagonist (the redoubtable Peter Drew) got together to work on a number of scenes that are semi scripted.  Over the next few months we're going to meet up and rework these scenes, add more and newer ones and add additional characters.  It's been a mix of sitting in the warm drinking coffee, and wandering around in the cold next to a B road.
What is it about?  It's a sort of detective story, though the case she's investigating is not particularly normal.  It all hinges on why a Mr Sedge wishes to be investigated by the police.  And that's all I can say at the moment.

It's all really exciting, and I can't wait to see where it goes next.

We also recorded something very silly, which I hope to release soon.

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: Sonia Lindsey-Scripps and Peter Drew
Additional Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

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Sunday, 15 January 2017

New New Audio for 2017

I've already posted about some of the old shows I'm recording this coming year, now for the exciting stuff, the new work.  The new new work, not new recordings of old work.

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  And the live stream can be heard on the night here -
Two shows lined up Saturday 4th March and Saturday 6th May at 7.30pm

Tickets £6 - www.quaysudbury.com

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: March/April

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: Sonia Lindsey-Scripps and Peter Drew
Additional Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

Friday, 13 January 2017

Bink! is released

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.

Release Date: Friday 13th January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Audioboom...


Or YouTube


The next release is next week!  Problem Tree will be released on Wednesday 18th January - catch all new releases early by becoming a patron. Rewards for patrons include early release of material, before the rest of the world.  Go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton to support new work.

Problem Tree
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 
First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Release Date: Wednesday 18th January, earlier for patrons.

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Proof of Age

So, I got offered an upgrade on my phone. I didn't ask for one, they kept calling, and in a moment of weakness I answered the call from the company and agreed to a new phone, same contract.
Next day, phone arrived.  Felt somewhat guilty as I put the sim card in, I didn't need the new phone.  (Yes, I'm part of the problem, and we're all going to die.)
But the sim card wouldn't stay in.  It's supposed to click as it goes in.  It did click, but it wouldn't stay in.  First world guilt forgotten, I attempted, repeatedly, to get the sim to stay in.  It was the right way round, it clicked, but it wasn't staying in.
I phoned the help number (irony?) and, after many a merry go round, I'm told to go to a shop.
You may remember shops.
So, having worked late last night to have the morning free, I go into a shop.
I hand over the device.
The boy ten years my junior puts the sim card in first time.
It stays.
Ritual humiliation over, I return home and get back to work.
I am now old.
When the snows come, take me out into the wilderness and leave me to die.
My time has come.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Bink! Remastered

So, eight years ago, almost to the day, an audience of unsuspecting... people (we'll call them people, it was the London Fringe and you can never tell) watched and listened to a world premiere - Bink! - part of Teaching Gods and Other Stories at the Tabard Theatre and performed by the marvellous Catherine Eccles.  Since that show Catherine Eccles has been brutally slaughtered, her bloody carcass only returning to life following a drastic Americanoscopy, which saw her reborn in LA as the (admittedly equally) marvellous Cat LaCohie.

Catherine before the recording.
Before she was cruelly taken away from us by fate and a work visa, she recorded Bink! which was made available for download.

Cat, after the surgery.
But now, for a limited time only, Bink! will be released for free for all to hear.  Before that could happen, I needed to remaster the original recording.
Seriously? I hear you cry.  (I hear your voices in my head, that's normal.)  Seriously, you cry, it's someone reading a story, what needs to be remastered.
Well, I made a mistake in the original release.  It's a small one, but it annoys me everything I've heard it since.  I gave the wrong instruction to the editor and... well...
An M is missing.
At the very top of the story Cat says: "Molly..." and the M is missing.  It comes out as "Olly..." So, I have gone back to the master tapes (yeah right, like it's on tape) and have carefully edited back this missing M.
It's this delayed-by-four-years attention to detail that has got me where I am today.

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie
Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

Bink! is released on Friday 13th January.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton 

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Tuesday, 10 January 2017

New Audio 2017

The preparation of audio works for the online universe is rarely a linear process.  There isn't a schedule in the same way as with my theatre work - deadlines can be broken too easily.  That's why many examples of my audio work have been promised and not delivered.  I'm not going to promise that I'll be more consistent in the future, but I'll lay out some of my stall for 2017 and we'll see how it goes.
New work, as previously noted, is in the early stages of pre-production, but many of these are full cast recordings and have no set timetable because it's never certain when people will be available or when the money will come through to make it happen.  But they're definitely getting somewhere and I'll blog about them soon.  Old work is easier as most of the pieces I'm recording now are monologues.  Broadly the plan is to release recordings of works created 2009/2010, so that I'm only eight years behind the times.  The first release will be this Friday!

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: Friday 13th January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 
First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Release Date: Wednesday 18th January for Patrons.

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: March

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required